Bittersweet Reunions
by kaoticdukki
Summary: After "Chosen" - Angel tries to return to Buffy, but will she let him after all the pain? BA. I've changed Chap3 for the better. Review please!
1. Angelic Nightmares

Disclaimer: Ok, I don't own a single, itty, bitty part of any of Joss Whedon's creations, damnit! If I did, do you honestly think I would be writing this? Noooo. I'd be indulging my own fantasies. teehee.  
  
Summary: AU. Angel tries to return to Buffy, but will she let him back into her life after all the pain? A/B - W/O.  
  
Author's note: Chaps alternate POV.. oh, and PLEASE REVIEW! It would rock my socks if you did.  
  
Chapter 1 - Angelic nightmares  
  
Running. Pounding footsteps so close behind her! Her mouth opened in a silent scream before she tripped and fell, sprawling on the ground. Vainly, she tried to scramble away and run once more, but he was simply too fast. In the span of two breathes, Angelus had her pinned tightly to the asphalt beneath her. His hands tightened mercilessly over her wrists, wrenching them above her head. It was over. He, in his full vampiric form was stronger than her - at least, right now he was. He had caught her at the tail-end of her patrol, after a more difficult slaying, and chased her for at least a mile or two into town. and into an alley between two rundown buildings where there was an outlet only a few feet ahead! No one would venture down the dark alley-way until morning. and by then. it would be too late for her. Still struggling, she glared at up at Angelus who would only respond with a leering smirk. Grinning wickedly, he leaned closer to her face, and gave her a full view of his rather sharp fangs.  
  
"What's the matter Slayer? No last witty words? No taunting remarks? My, my, what has this world come to?"  
  
"Bite me, bastard."  
  
"With pleasure, Slayer."  
  
Before he attached himself to her neck, Angelus savagely pressed his mouth to her own, forcing his tongue inside her mouth with brutal efficiency. He drew away after a few moments and sighed, sounding almost satisfied. "Now I know why Angel liked to kiss you. Too bad he's not here now." And with that, he sank his teeth into her soft, creamy skin. She felt the teeth pierce her flesh and whimpered in pain, still frantically trying to escape. She could feel herself slowly weakening, and becoming tired. ever so tired. Angelus moaned in appreciation. Her blood was so strong! He could feel the energy filling him, making him more powerful, faster, stronger! He began to drink faster, anticipating a heavenly rush. planning to drink her dry. Buffy's feeble attempts to get away finally stopped as she lost the energy to move. It was almost too much effort to keep her eyes open when she was suddenly free of the weight pressing her down. She gasped in amazement at the scene before her, though she was too weak to join in the fight.  
  
It was Angel versus Angelus. Soulful vampire against his soulless counterpart. They were rolling on the ground, each trying to gain the advantage of being on top. First it was Angelus, then Angel as eventually both rose from the ground without throwing a single punch. But not for long. Through dazed eyes, she watched as Angel struck out at Angelus, only to double over with the same wound. Both figures swore loudly before renewing their attacks. Angelus threw Angel into nearby trash cans, and Angel slammed Angelus' head into the wall. Fists were flying, feet were kicking, and bruises appeared almost as quickly as the attacks were thrown. When both were bleeding and torn, Angel finally got the advantage. Leaping, he pinned Angelus down to the ground and pulled out a stake. He held it high for Angelus and Buffy to see. It would be the ultimate sacrifice. Angelus wouldn't go away unless he was killed - but in order to do that, Angel would have to kill himself as well.  
  
"No! Angel!" screamed Buffy as she watched in what seemed like slow motion as the stake descended slowly, ever so slowly. slow enough so that Angel had time to turn his head and smile at Buffy. It was wishful and filled with a sweet longing, she, herself knew only too well. "I love you Buff-" but he was cut off as the wooden stake pierced Angelus's heart, and both vampires turned to dust. The wailing of a siren filled her head.  
  
And Buffy woke, entangled in her cream colored sheets. They were wrapped around her so tightly, she couldn't move. The alarm was going off, and red numbers pulsed from her clock. It read 7:00 AM - all too soon for a distraught Slayer. A few silent tears trickled out of her blue eyes as she slowly disentangled herself and sat up, disheveled and still very tired. Looking out the window into a beautiful, California sunrise, Buffy could only whisper to the air "Where are you, Angel?"  
  
TBC.. soon, I promise!  
  
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	2. Shared Dreams

Authors Note: Errr.. sorry they're so short. School and all. I'll update when possible, dunno when that'll be. Thanks for the Reviews!  
  
Chapter 2 - Shared dreams  
  
In the shadows, Angel was biding his time, waiting for the right moment to strike. It was hard, holding back, and watching him hurt her. His blonde, spunky angel. The one he would always love, until the world ended. It almost had, a year or so ago. But this wasn't the time to drift back into memories. Dark brown eyes filled with pain as he saw Angelus rape Buffy's mouth, his blood boiling at his words. "Now I know why Angel liked to kiss you. Too bad he's not here now." Ohhhh, but he was! Angelus was too absorbed in his captured prey to linger on the scent of himself, his alternate personality. Had he done so, Angelus would have found Angel in a shadowed doorway, wedged back as far as possible. He had been waiting for them. Knowing Angelus and Buffy, there was almost no way for Angel to be wrong. Only his extreme will NOT to attack prematurely kept him in hiding as Angelus bit into his love, and as her writhing slowly subdued. Yes.. now was the time!  
  
He leaped out, and hit Angelus from the side, knocking him off Buffy. He heard her gasp at what was no doubt an astonishing sight, but couldn't pay any attention to it. The two of them rolled over on the damp, hard asphalt, each struggling to be on top. But it was to no avail. Buffy's blood had enhanced the both of them; her addictive, sweet, Slayer blood. Angel couldn't deny that it felt as good as it had the last time he had drunk from her - back when she saved his undead ass. Oh yes, Angel remembered every day he had been with Buffy, from the day they had met, until the day he helped her close the Hellmouth. for good.  
  
Finally, Angel was able to hit Angelus with his full force, but as he struck, he felt himself gasping with pain - from the same wound! Swearing loudly, both Angel and Angelus renewed their attacks on each other. So pumped up with adrenaline were they, that neither paid much attention to the abrasions and bruises they were receiving of their own accord. Angel was thrown into the alley trash cans, only to scramble back up and push Angelus into the wall - by his head. The fight dragged on, and it seemed like an eon before Angel was granted a bit of luck. well, a lot actually. He tackled his counterpart, and both fell to the ground. Angel acted quickly and withdrew a pointed stake from the depths of his leather jacket, looking quite ominous in the dimmed light of the alley way.  
  
He heard her scream, detecting a frantic plea for him to reconsider, but Angel knew what he was doing. It didn't matter to him that he would die, after almost 300 years of roaming the earth, he deserved a little peace and quiet, right? No, he didn't - but he, with his undying love, was willing to die for Buffy. Because if he didn't stake Angelus then and there, he'd only come back. Turning around to look at his fair-haired lover, Angel started to say "I love you Buff-". And that's as far as he got.  
  
He sat straight up, wide-eyed and panting in his dark room. Just to make sure it wasn't real, Angel put his hand where his heart ought to be. No beat - but he was still flesh and blood. if only slightly dead. Disentangling himself from his sheets, Angel slipped on a pair of the regular black pants and began to pace his room. Throwing a glance at the clock, it read 7:00 AM, and he could only sigh in relief. He couldn't linger too long on the dream, after all, it was ONLY a dream, right? Still. as he buttoned up a black shirt, Angel stood by his blind-covered windows, partially wishing he could see the sunrise. Leaning against the wooden frame outlining the panes, he whispered into the air "If only I could see you again, Buffy. If only, if only." 


	3. A day without You pt 1

Disclaimer: Sadly, nothing belongs to poor, pitiful me. Wish they did though! I wonder if I have enough money to buy them from Whedon.?  
  
Author's Note: Divided into two parts, it follows Buffy and Angel on the same day. Also, I have been nominated for a niftyfull award - so please go and vote for me at. Oh, and forgive me if my timeline with Angel is a bit off..  
  
In the kitchen, Buffy half-heartedly munched on a piece of toast, staring off into space, a dreamy look on her face. So she didn't notice when Dawn bounced energetically in, humming an happy-sounding tune. She took one look at her sister and smiled, moving around the island, to sit right across from her.  
  
"Hello? Earth to Buffy?" she said rather loudly, while waving her hand in front of Buffy's face. Buffy jumped a little and smiled a bit, dropping her piece of toast.  
  
"Oh. Hey Dawnie. Anything special going on today?" Her sister rolled her eyes. It WAS Saturday after all.  
  
"Just going with some friends to the mall, hang out. the usual. You?" Buffy grimaced and shook her head. "No, not really. I'll probably just stop over to see Willow and then Xander. Rent a sappy movie and sit there watching it, wondering why I don't have anyone. You know, the usual."  
  
Dawn had grabbed some cereal and was pouring it into a bowl, when she stopped and looked up at her older sister. "Oh.. I see." Something was going on with Buffy. and she knew it wasn't good.  
  
Around 11:00 AM, Buffy left her house and headed towards Willow's. A lot had happened since Sophomore year of high school. Willow's obsession with Xander, then Oz. The development of her witchcraft. and Tara. In her wildest dreams, Buffy never thought that Wil would turn out to be a lesbian. And then Oz had come back after they'd defeated The First. He and Wil were back together again, and things were going fine. Willow helped at the Magic Box and Oz's band was pretty well known nowadays. They might even get a CD contract.  
  
When she came to Willow's house, she knocked before opening the door. She looked into the living room and immediately turned away. Oz and Willow were quite plainly making out on the couch, and hadn't heard her knocking. Sighing softly, she turned away and headed back outside. they didn't need to know she had been there.  
  
Angel! Her heart cried, Angel! The tryst with Spike had been nothing to her, a few steps in the wrong direction. Sure, she'd seen the tender and gentle side of him during that period of time. and she knew he could be a little like Angel. That's probably what she had been attracted to in the first place. NO! Buffy had gone over this a million times in her head before, and it was to no avail! Nothing rationalized it, and she only sickened herself wondering why she had done it.  
  
All she wanted was Angel.  
  
Turning away from Willow's house, she headed towards Xanders. His love life hadn't been so hot either. First attempting to get Buffy herself.and then Cordelia. Ick. Why anyone would want Cordelia was honestly beyond Buffy's comprehension. And then Anya. Anyanka as she was known in the demon word - ex-demon then. And now. now Anya was dead. She had died during the battle with the uberVamps.  
  
Buffy stopped at a coffee shop on the way there and bought an iced cappuccino. Really not paying much attention to the world around her, Buffy walked and sipped and became lost in her own thoughts. What was Angel doing now? Did he ever think about her? Had he moved on? How was Angel Investigations going? The past - too many memories to relive at once. Their first time, in Angel's satin bedsheets. He had been so tender, so gentle with her, a mere girl. Angelus. and Faith. Faith who was good now - the Faith that had helped her with the Potentials. All of it was long gone. Too long, in her mind.  
  
She brought herself back to the world at Xander's door and she stood before it, hand raised to knock. Yet she couldn't. Xander had ever only had harsh words to say about Angel. "Dead-boy." He could never understand, nor would he be sympathetic. Without a word, she dropped her hand, and her head hung low. Feeling utterly alone in the world, Buffy turned for home, the beginnings of tears glistening in her eyes.  
  
The key turned in the lock, and she pushed the door open. The interior was as usual. Neat, tidy, organized. Dawn wasn't there, it was quite obvious - there would have been loud music, or the chatter of voices. The house was silent and empty. Buffy dropped her purse on the floor and headed upstairs to her room. Her room was her sanctuary, her haven. So many memories. With a few strides, she crossed the room to her window, and lay her hand upon the frame.  
  
There, in that spot was where she had kissed Angel for the first time. The first time she knew he was a vampire. Stolen kisses at night, out the window, murmured words of farewell. A silent tear trickled down her cheek, and Buffy crumpled to the floor. Her face in her arms, resting on the sill, she weeped for a long-lost lover. And there, with a few stray rays of golden light flooding in, she cried herself to sleep. ---------------------------------------------------------- 


	4. A day without You pt 2

Disclaimer: Still wishing to own BUFFY or ANGEL. Sadly, it has not happened yet. Did you know Whedon won't accept bribery?  
  
Author's Note: 2nd part of 3rd chap. Follows Angel. Sorry if my timeline is a bit off. Based right after Cordy dies. Just to clear up a few questions: They don't live in Sunnydale anymore. After all, it WAS swallowed by the Hellmouth. But they all moved to the same area. =P. Ahhh, the wonders of an author's license. I'm sorry for taking so long to get this one up. Life's gone hectic and muse went flat! Bleh. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this part. Oh, and DO YOUR PART TO SAVE ANGEL!!! We won't go down without a fight!! www.saveangel.org  
  
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Wolfram and Hart. Almost everyday Angel asked himself why he had accepted this role. Why? That question along with many others. And the one thing he found out was that dwelling on the past was bad for you. It complicated the present and made him even broodier than he already was – at least, that was what Cordy had told him. Sweet Cordelia. After High School, she had really changed... which was a relief because he probably wouldn't have been able to deal with her had she not. But now that she was dead, he could finally admit that yes, he had loved her. But that love was second to Buffy. She would always come first. And that was the problem, or so he thought...  
  
Stepping out of the elevator at W&H, Angel nodded courteously to a few visiting demons, staff members, and friends. He stopped at Harmony's desk to check on the daily schedule and get his blood – in his #1 Boss cup. But when Angel walked into his office, he was a bit surprised to see Spike sitting in a plush chair, just waiting for him. Raising his eyebrows, Angel growled in frustration. Why couldn't his childe leave him alone?! "What the hell do you want, Spike?"  
  
Spike only grinned innocently at him, ignoring the temper. Angel was always being a bloody poof after all. He leaned on his knees, hands clasped together. "What do you say to a lil trip back to see Buffy and the gang, 'eh?"  
  
Angel froze, his back was turned to Spike so that he couldn't see the wave of longing and heartache that washed across his features. Forcing himself to put on a face of calm indifference. Angel turned around and sat on the edge of his desk. He was silent for a minute or two, remembering all the wonderful times he and Buffy had together. But he also knew that Spike was absolutely dying to return to her.  
  
He shook his head sadly, "No Spike. No one is going to go see Buffy. Especially not you, alone. IF you ever go, I will be going with you, capiche?"  
  
Spike shook his head derisively and chuckled. "You know, I knew you would say that. What's the matter, Peaches? Can't stand the thought of someone else being with her? The thought that maybe, just maybe, she doesn't love you anymore? That she might love – "  
  
Spike was suddenly cut off as Angel slammed him against the back of the chair, his hand tight around Spike's neck. He had vamped out, and was glaringly hatefully at Spike. Not that either of them actually needed oxygen, but Angel's grip was tight enough to bruise, and leave fingermarks around his neck.  
  
"Buffy could NEVER love you! Don't you ever, EVER say that again. Do you hear me?!" His eyes were furious, blazing with anger. Spike hadn't meant to get him /i worked up... So he nodded slightly and looked away.  
  
Angel jerked away, still growling under his breath. That insolent bastard! The only thing that hurt him more was that Spike was right. That was what he was afraid of. That he would find her, but he would find her with someone else. Or worse! That she actually might love Spike more than him. Angel knew of the history between Buffy and Spike, he wasn't stupid or naïve. With his vampire face still on, Angel pointed towards the door. "Get out, Spike." He spat out the words as if they were toxic and disgusting.  
  
Spike gave him one last glance before swiftly turning and stalking out, slamming the oaken doors behind him. Angel's face returned to normal, and he went into brooding mode. He knew now that it was inevitable. He HAD to see her, he had to see Buffy. For the better part of an hour, he stared out the window into the City of Angels, until he was disturbed by Fred and Wesley.  
  
The rest of his day went as normal, meetings, etc. By then, he had come to a decision. As Angel walked out of his office, he stopped by Harmony's desk once more. "Cancel all my meetings and appointments for the next week." He started to walk away, leaving a stunned Harmony sitting there. But he remembered something and turned around, saying in grave tones. "I have some urgent business to attend to, if anyone asks."  
  
He wouldn't tell anyone where he was going – not Fred, Lorne, Wesley, Gunn... and especially not Spike. He would probably figure out what was going on. But hopefully, it wouldn't be for a while.  
  
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